


let loose your longing

by ktlsyrtis



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, Porn with Feelings, Post-Episode: Primum Non Nocere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 11:09:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15023279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ktlsyrtis/pseuds/ktlsyrtis
Summary: Bernie turns with a grin, one she sees reflected on Serena's beautiful face."Drive."





	let loose your longing

**Author's Note:**

> _and on a soft bed_  
>  _delicate_  
>  _you would let loose your longing_  
>  \- _Sappho_

By the time the front door of her house clicks shut behind them, Serena’s back in Bernie’s arms and they’re kissing like their lives depend on it, like it’s the first time all over again. She moans into Bernie’s mouth, around the tongue that slips past her lips, hands already anchored in that riot of hair she never wants to let go of. 

Bernie’s walking her backwards down the hallway, trying to navigate toward the staircase without breaking the kiss, unwilling to stop tasting Serena for even a moment after this long apart, even when her ankles hit the bottom riser and she stumbles up the first step, only prevented from falling by Bernie’s strong grip around her waist.

“Bernie,” she murmurs, words muffled by the frantic press of lips, “Bernie, this isn’t working.”

Bernie pulls back at that, lips already pink and kiss swollen, those parallel frown lines that Serena always wants to smooth away with her thumbs appearing between her furrowed brows. It’s a look Serena is familiar with, has seen countless times over a surgical mask or the morning paper, the outward manifestation of Bernie’s brilliant mind working through a problem, finding the most efficient solution.

She feels Bernie’s hands slip lower, over the curve of her behind, and her burgeoning protest is swallowed by a squeak of surprise as she suddenly finds herself hefted into the air. Legs instinctively wrapping around Bernie’s waist, arms clinging to her neck, the absurdity of it all sets her off in a fit of laughter as Bernie starts to work her way up the stairs with Serena in her arms.

A stinging swat lands on her arse and Serena lets out an indignant squawk.

“Do you mind?” Bernie says, sounding a little strained. “Keep squirming like that and I won’t be held responsible for dropping you.”

Serena bites down on her lip to swallow the laughter, the joy that seems to be bubbling up inside her endlessly. Contents herself instead with kissing and licking her way along the side of Bernie’s neck, nipping at the straining tendon, sucking at her fluttering pulse point until she feels a groan vibrate against her lips.

“Still not helping,” Bernie grits out, flinging one arm out to balance against the banister as they finally gain the upper landing. 

A few staggered steps down the hall, a long moment of heated kissing against the door frame, and Serena finds herself tossed on her bed with enough force to bounce a bit, Bernie standing over her, flushed and victorious, a wild grin on her face that makes Serena’s heart stutter in her chest.

It’s all a bit of a flurry after that. They’re both still in their coats and Bernie’s wearing a seemingly unending number of layers against the chill English spring. Hands tangle in fabric, catch in hair, pieces of clothing hang half off limbs, forgotten as they distract one another again and again with long, luxurious kisses.

The first slide of skin against skin once they’re finally, _finally_ , naked is glorious, and Serena almost thinks this could be enough; just having Bernie here, pressed against her, around her, nothing between them, is enough to take her breath away.

She looks up into that beautiful, shining face, golden curls a messy curtain between them, and her breath hitches, the chaotic emotion of the day catching up with her, desire dampened by a wave of nauseating fear. Tears prick behind her eyes, and she’s momentarily lost in those terrible moments when she forced herself to let Bernie go.

“Serena?” The furrow in Bernie’s brow is back and this time Serena does reach up to brush her thumb against the wrinkles, across Bernie’s forehead, tangling her fingers in her hair as she pushes it back from Bernie’s face.

“I could have lost you,” Serena says, little more than a pained whisper. “I _did_ lose you. I’m such a fool, Bernie, and it almost cost us everything. Can you ever-” Bernie’s lips smother her apology, cut off the rising stream of recriminations and regrets, soothing her even as she reignites the spark of desire between them.

“We’re both fools.” Bernie whispers against her lips, pushes up on her elbows just enough to meet Serena’s gaze.

She can see the sorrow lingering in Bernie’s eyes, knows this is something they need to talk through, to truly lay to rest if they’re going to move forward, but it fades behind the love that’s there, a love the likes of which she never dared hope she would find in her life. They’ve already been through so much, been tested by grief, by distance, by the emotional baggage they each carry, and it makes Bernie’s love, her willingness to love Serena, that much more rare and precious. In that moment Serena vows to herself to be worthy of that gift, to do whatever it takes to make them last, to return Bernie’s love in kind, with every fiber of her being.

Surging upward she catches Bernie in a fierce, deep kiss, her momentum enough to push them upright, Bernie straddling her lap. She can’t get enough of the feel of Bernie’s skin, so soft and warm against her palms, presses her hands harder against the rise of her shoulder blades, bringing them that much closer together. 

It hits her all over again that this is real, that Bernie is _here_ \- in her arms, in her bed. The exhaustion and uncertainty of the day burns away in a tidal wave of desire, and Serena’s fingers dig slightly into soft flesh, the bite of blunt fingernails drawing a delicious moan from Bernie that makes Serena throb. She trails hot, wet kisses along Bernie’s jaw, the line of her neck, hands sliding around to cup those small, perfect breasts, pebbled nipples hard points against her palms.

“I’ve missed you,” Serena whispers against Bernie’s skin, as if she can inscribe the words there, a permanent mark that Bernie can carry when they’re apart. She catches Bernie’s nipples between thumb and forefinger, rolling them softly, feels the answering buck of Bernie’s hips against her. “I’ve missed the way you feel, the way you taste. The sounds you make.” Her fingers tighten and she hears a curse, grins a little wildly and nips where Bernie’s neck meets her shoulder.

“Serena, _please._ ” The naked desire in Bernie’s voice spurs Serena on, fills her with urgency, with the overwhelming need to have Bernie _now._

Her hand trembles a little as she drags her fingers over Bernie’s taut stomach, through coarse tangled curls and into such molten heat that it momentarily short circuits her brain, Bernie’s whimper barely registering on the edge of her consciousness.

“ _God,”_ Serena groans, fingers stroking through velvety wetness, resisting the way Bernie squirms to direct her to the perfect spot. “Did you miss me, Berenice?”

Bernie lets out a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob, looks down at Serena with eyes that are practically black. 

“You could say that.” A quirk of Serena’s fingers makes her gasp. “I’m starting to get a little worried about carpal tunnel.”

“Well, we can’t have that,” Serena chuckles. “You have to save those hands for performing miracles. Maybe while you’re here we should do a little shopping, find something to help you with that,” she says, arching an eyebrow, Bernie’s response garbled by a well-timed press of her fingers.

“In the meantime,” Serena lets her voice drop, knows the effect it has on Bernie, “why don’t you let me take care of you?”

Two fingers slip in easily, Bernie’s hands clenching tight on her shoulders as she cries out, hips meeting Serena’s thrust. The addition of a third has her moaning, head dropped back, exposing the pale skin of her neck to Serena’s greedy eyes. She sets a fast pace, thinks there will be time for slow and sweet exploration later. Right now she wants to see, to feel, Bernie fall apart.

They’ve never had the time to get used to this, for their lovemaking to become routine; have spent more time apart than together, at the end of the day. But even if that weren’t the case, Serena thinks it will always be new and precious between them, thinks she’ll never get used to how to feels to lose herself in Bernie. Her free hand makes its way inevitably into Bernie’s hair, tangles at the nape of her neck, feeling the silken strands, the damp of sweat at her scalp.

“You’re beautiful.” Serena can’t keep the awe from her words, the sheer gratitude she feels to have this woman in her life. She ducks her head, flicking her tongue against a taut nipple, feels Bernie shudder against her. “So beautiful. And all mine. Aren’t you?” She catches the nipple between her teeth, tugging until Bernie bucks up into her hand.

“ _Yes.”_ Bernie’s voice is ragged, desperate, her hands scrabbling against Serena’s back, hips matching the unrelenting pace of her hand. “Yours, Serena. Always.”

A noise she doesn’t recognize bubbles up from Serena’s chest, as she leaves a purpling mark on the slope of Bernie’s breast, her thumb moving to circle her swollen clit. She looks up at Bernie’s desperate mewl, watches her face avidly, taking in every movement, every grimace of pleasure.

“Does that feel good, darling?” Bernie can only nod, unable to manage words in this moment. “Do you want to come for me?”

“ _Please,_ ” she practically sobs, movements becoming frantic and uncoordinated. Serena’s hand tightens in Bernie’s hair, tugging backward until her back is arched, breasts thrust forward. The low light of the bedroom gilds her glistening skin, washes her in warmth like a painting, some Renaissance artist’s ode to love and pleasure.

Serena keeps her on the precipice until Bernie’s muscles are tense and trembling, eyes squeezed shut, every inch of her begging for release. Waits another moment, then...

“I love you.” Her fingers curl forward, thumb circling with the perfect pressure and she feels Bernie flutter and clench around her a moment before she lets out a long, low groan, wave after wave of pleasure crashing over her.

Bernie slumps boneless in Serena’s arms and she lowers them both to bed, tucking Bernie’s tousled head beneath her chin, wrapping her arms tightly around her trembling body. She doesn’t know how long they lay there, limbs tangled, sweaty skin pressed tight together, doesn’t really care. Thinks she would happily stay like this forever, given the opportunity. Eventually she feels Bernie shift, a kiss brushed against her collarbone.

“When do you meet the estate agent tomorrow?” Bernie lifts her head, blinking, adorably confused at the non sequitur, and Serena has to bite back a laugh, thinks (not for the first time) that Bernie looks remarkably like a labrador puppy.

“Um, late afternoon? Why?”

“Because I’m not planning on letting you out of this bed until then.” Serena tilts Bernie’s chin up with a finger, presses a sweet kiss to her laughing mouth. Barks a laugh of her own when Bernie suddenly slides up her body, pinning her hands against the mattress.

“Is that right?” A thrill shivers down Serena’s spine, coils low in her belly at the predatory tone in Bernie’s voice, the heat in her eyes. “I guess I’ll have to find some way to keep busy until then.”

Serena’s eyes flutter shut with a groan as Bernie makes her way lower, trailing a path of kisses, nibbles and murmured adultations along Serena’s torso. Her eyes fly open at a sharp bite to her hip, a warm tongue soothing away the sting. The sight of Bernie perched between her thighs, eyes dark and smiling, takes her breath away, heart swelling with emotion as she marvels anew at the woman she’s been so lucky to meet, to befriend, to fall in love with.

“Glad that I’m here?” Bernie must see some of what Serena’s feeling, her face breaking into that soft, sweet smile Serena knows is just for her, the one that crinkles her eyes and makes her features glow like the sun.

“Always,” Serena replies a bit wetly. Arches up with a moan as Bernie lowers her head, hands clenching at the duvet. “Always.” 


End file.
